Dear friends I am sorry for the pain I caused, the tears I brought or the sorrow that came.
Or for the negative feelings I brought, when someone mentioned my name.
I am sorry that because of my actions our friendship isn’t the same.
I am sorry that when I saw fault in your life, I ran fast no stopping….. what a shame.
I should’ve offered help, sight or even advice knowing that would have been better for you.
Instead I isolated myself leaving us torn in two. In that I grew, in that, much was new.
I learned more and more from the silence that sat next to me each long night.
I became accustomed to being alone, molded by its comfort getting set for a long flight.
Yet I know times have changed and out of my cocoon I must burst.
I just wanted to apologize first.
I, on my own, am not holy, far from perfect.
I am not a genius, innocent or even really worth it.
I’ve had to humble myself to be able to come to.
This realization that my dear friends, I need you.
To help me grow and hoping it reciprocates.
What fun was I forgot, I’d lie in bed, letting thoughts marinate.
Constantly building my mind palace, yet neglecting the flowers in the garden outside.
All knowledge would be pointless, unless you had people to tag along for the ride.
I want to see us smile again, be wide eyed again.
I want to laugh again, build crafts again. I wanna play again, spend the whole day again.
I want to live better than I did before, knowing what I know now.
I want to treat you all better than I did before, knowing that I know how.
I want us to grow close to each other, so that you have someone to depend on.
You, me and the sea, a seamlessly endless journey, there doesn’t have to be a target we end on.
There is one catch though, one thing I must state.
Let me love you, and know that what I say is for both of our sake.
Don’t take my disagreements as a fight, or a battle to the death.
I just have this distaste for things that are taking away your breath.
I don’t judge nor do I reticule,
I just know there is more to life and better things to fuel.
No I will not smoke with you, nor will I party till the crown of the sun is seen.
But when you run out of smoke, and the parties are over, I’ll be there providing a shoulder, a support beam
for you, a way for you to get back up right.
I was in all of this too, and truth be told it probably would have took my life.
I got out with only a scratch from that fight.
It tries to pull me in daily, I lose every now and then but its alright
But I want to end this quick and wanted it this way.
Dear friends, will you forgive me of my actions and atleast take note of the last bit of what I have to say?
I want your friendship, I want to know your life.
I want to see your uniqueness, the darkness and the light.
I want to know each and everyone of you, so that when trouble comes along,
I can ask to hangout and talk and not feel i’ve done something wrong.
I want to pray for you, raise your problems up to the only one that can provide help.
I want to be with you in sickness and in health.
I want to have you feel like you can come to me when you feel like its the end.
What I want the most from you, is to accept my love as a friend.